An email I just recieved from my father, entitled “True Aussie Friendship”
1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you then call u a wanker.
3. When you smile — I will know you finally got a root.
4. When you are scared — I will take the piss out of you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit your fucking whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words and talk real slow…
7. When you are sick — Stay the fuck away from me until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and piss myself laughing at your clumsy arse.
9. This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask? ‘Because you are my friend’.
Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
