Pre and Post Travel.

‘The blinds never quite block out all of the light,’ she thought cheerfully. ‘I like that. Who in their right mind wants to block all the light out of their lives?’ She was cheerful, at this moment in time. She wasn’t always. She wants to be happy all the time, but it’s just hard, especially when thoughts of what she could be missing out on created a constant storm in the front of her mind. As much as happiness is the most important thing, she didn’t think that feeling sad every now and then was necessarily a bad thing. It made the happiness all that much sweeter. And it wasn’t a dull, deep, aching sadness – it was fleeting, momentary. Sometimes bought on by boredom, when she was free to sit and brood about everything, but more often than not it was roused through connecting something happening in the present with someone or something back home, the past. The memories start coming on so thick, it can sometimes be hard to sort through all of them.

‘I’m getting the feeling that this stage of my life will be explained in three parts; pre-travel, travel, post-travel. As much as I want to go home and be able to slot back in like nothing has changed, inevitably, it will. Indeed, already has.’ She was right. She knew she was, with that smug self-assurance that came with being young. Probably also a little bit of what her father referred to as their families curse. The ‘curse’ is an interesting one – her father always references it in times of good fortune, which do seem to be often. She likes thinking about it a little more practically. Everyone who ‘suffers’ from the ‘curse’ seems to have an ingrained sense of optimism, and a natural ability to deal with any situation that is thrown at them with a level head. Now whether that is the cause of the curse, or just a side effect of the curse, that is what is up for discussion and debate. This girl, she’s going to sit on the fence. She thinks it might be a little of both, and, quite simply, they coexist. Why is there any need to delve into explanations? She wants to stop thinking so much, to just dive in, and hope that everything will work out. And she knows it will, with that smug self-assurance that comes with being young.