2 days.

I realised when I awoke for the second time this morning, that I really only have one more full day of Adelaide-life (today didn’t count). Which will be filled with packing and crying, I’m sure. I just feel.. completely unprepared.

The going away party was last night. I thought I’d be more teary, but nope. I’m pretty sure I only cried infront of one person - it’s always a boy that says things to make me cry. But really, I’m just not big on crying in front of people. It’s been said before - I apparently keep myself fenced in with walls (fenced in with fences? walled in with walls?). But anyway, as I pulled onto the freeway this afternoon to head down for a farewell lunch with family, I welled up with tears. I don’t know if it was the music I was listening to at the time, or that it was just the first chance I’ve had recently to be on my own and take stock, but I almost pulled over so I could sob for a little bit without fear of crashing.

I’m not ready for this, I’m not.

Yet people keep telling me I am.

I think I need to prove to myself that I am.

I’m going to miss you, Adelaide. If I don’t like it there, you may see me again sooner than expected.